The Allegories in Star Wars...

Now, I admit, this is going to be a strech.  This is no biblical fact; you won't find this in the Bible, it's just a theory I've held in my head.

If you passed high school English class, you might remember a vocabulary word that Mrs. Venn made you learn, a liteary term called allegory...

allegory (al·le·go·ry) - 1 : the expression by means of symbolic fictional figures and actions of truths or generalizations about human existence; also : an instance (as in a story or painting) of such expression
2 : a symbolic representation

Over the past few months, I've been playing a video game on the Xbox which is called Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (The game is abbreviated KOTOR for short).  Yesterday, August 9th, I beat it.  In fact, I think it is now my new favorite video game of all time, beating all my old favorites.  (The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Goldeneye 007, Final Fantasy Tactics)

Yes, I am going somewhere with this video game idea.  Be patient with me.  In this video game, the setting is 4,000 years before the Star Wars movies that we know and love about Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader, and his two children, Luke and Leia Skywalker.  This Role-Playing Game advances and alters the ending of the video game, depending if you pick the "light side," or the "dark side," which if you've seen any Star Wars movies, you know those are the two sides.

Beyond the most basic, common symbolism that, "the light side are the good guys, and the dark side are the bad guys," there is really much more than that simple fact.  Jedi, which are the guardians of peace and justice, are in many aspects similar how the Bible encourages us to be as Christians.

Want some Bible scripture to back up my theory? 
(All bible verses are NIV translation.)

Matthew 5:9
"Blessed are the peacemakers,
      for they will be called sons of God."

Jedi are to be "guardians of peace and justice."

Matthew 6:24
"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

When Jedi are in the training phase of their life, their title is a "padawan."  They train on a one-to-one basis with a Jedi "Knight" and learn how to live.  Jedi don't believe in pride and self-centeredness, they report to a Jedi Council, a council of twelve Jedi who have the title of "Master."    Just as a Jedi cannot falter between the light side and the dark side, we as Christians cannot falter between the will of God and the will of the devil.  As Christians, we cannot serve two masters.

Matthew 6:28-29
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these."

Ladies, this one is especially for you.  Jedi don't wear any fancy clothes.  (Yes, there are female Jedi.)  Jedi wear very simple, basic clothing that includes a tunic, pants, and a utility belt.  They often wear a brown robe with a hood.  Jedi are forbidden by the Jedi Code to have attachments.  This strictly includes materialism.  In layman's terms, STUFF.  Just this past summer I went to Mexico on a mission trip with my church, and I realized how you don't need a lot of STUFF.  As Christians, we should not be concerned with the small stuff.  Clothes fit into that category.

Ephesians 4:31
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

This is a great verse.  Jedi are to be in control of their emotions, and to be able to keep their temper in control.  It's one of the things Anakin Skywalker has trouble with in Star Wars.

1 Peter 2:12
"Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. "

Jedi are to be characters of morality, integrity, faithfullness, honor, and loyalty.  So are Christians.  "Jedi Knight" is a title of great respect.

Jedi get their power from the Force.  "It's a mystical energy barrier, created by all living things."  The Force could be compared to the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is an invisible force which strengthens us as Christians, gives us strength to carry on in our lives.

Want to look deeper into the characters of Star Wars?  Look at Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker, father and son.  Relationship sound familiar?  Try the Father, and the Son.  If you've seen the Return of the Jedi, you know that Luke Skywalker surrenders himself to the bad guys and talks to Darth Vader (who is Anakin Skywalker) and tries to persuade him back to the "light side of the Force."  Vader rejects his offer and turns him over to his own master, Darth Sidious.  Sidious tortures and attacks Luke.  In the end of the story, the confrontation with his son makes Anakin Skywalker realize how he as been and he rejects the dark side, and attacks and kills his own master, Darth Sidious.  If this isn't a tale of redemption, then I don't know one. 

Christ is the Son who can redeem us.  Only through him (John 14:6) can we enter Heaven.

The reason I brought up the Xbox game Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic at the beginning of the post is that the next to final battle with the bad guy is a woman named Bastila.  She was in your party, then turned over to the dark side.  I redeemed her back to the light side, just as anyone who has fallen can return to Christ and be in the light side once again.  Here is the dialog of the conversation.  The name of my character is Joric Baill.  When you read this dialog, see if you can relate anything to your faith. 
Never forget, anyone can be redeemed.

KOTOR Dialog

Bastila: Revan - I knew you'd come for me.
Joric Baill: I'll never give up on you, Bastila.  I know you can still be saved.
Bastila: You are wasting your time.  I have seen the Jedi for what they are: weak and afraid.  The sith are the true Masters of the Force.  You have forgotten that lesson, Revan.
Bastila: Now you must pay the price.  Here on the Star Forge the power of the dark side is at its strongest.  This time you will not defeat me!
*Battle*
Bastila: I see now why Malak followed you.  Even though you are only a shell of your former self, you are still a formidable opponent.
Bastila: I can't even imagine the power you must have wielded when you were the Dark Lord.  You were a fool to give it all up and follow the light side.
Joric Baill: I am as strong in the light as I ever was in following the dark side.
Bastila: The dark side has made me stronger than I ever was before!  I have a greater command of the Force than all but the most powerful Jedi Masters.
Bastila: As Malak teaches me the greatest secrets of the Sith, I will unlock more of my potential.  Eventually there will be no limit to what I can accomplish with the Force!
Joric Baill: You will accomplish death and destruction with the dark side, nothing else.
Bastila: Jedi propaganda.  The dark side is only a tool, and Malak will train me in its use.  Eventually I will surpass my Master and challenge him.  If I am worthy he will die by my hand.
Bastila: Then I will take on my own apprentice and the cycle will begin again.  This is the way of the Sith, it is how we assure our leaders are always the strongest and most worthy!
Joric Baill: You are dooming yourself to an endless cycle of death and betrayal.
Bastila: No, Revan, it is you who are doomed!
*Battle again*
Bastila: You are growing weary, I can sense it!  Your strength falters, the light side is failing you while the power of the Star Forge re-energizes me!  Soon this will all be over!
Joric Baill: I have not faltered, Bastila.  You have been misled by the dark side.
Bastila: The dark side will always triumph over the light!  Malak has assured me of victory!  You can't defeat me here on the Star Forge!  YOU CAN'T!
*Battle the third and final time*
Bastila: No, this is not possible!  You have rejected the dark side, you are a weak and pathetic servant of the light!  How can you still stand against me?  Why can't I defeat you?
Joric Baill: Now you see that the dark side is not stronger than the light.
Bastila: Yes, I see you speak the truth.  I am no match for you.  Please, for the sake of what we once shared, do not make me suffer.  End my life quickly.  There is no other way.
Joric Baill: I could never kill you, Bastila.
Bastila: What other choice do you have?  I have fallen to the dark side, I am the apprentice to the Dark Lord himself.  You cannot let me live.
Joric Baill: I was redeemed, Bastila.  You can be, too.
Bastila: You were a special case.  The Council has no other choice.  They needed you alive so they could discover the location of the Star Forge.  It was an act of desperation.
Bastila: It was my responsibility to watch over you, to make sure that you did not slep back into your evil ways.  I was supposed to protect you from the dark side.
Joric Baill: You did more than protect me, Bastila.
Bastila: It is true I possess… feelings for you.  But was it only an illusion brought about by our bond?  And what was the cost?
Bastila: Please... this is too painful.  End it now, quickly.  There is no other way.
Joric Bail: [Persuade] I love you, Bastila.  I can't abandon you, ever.
Bastila: [Success] You… love me?  Heh.  I… there was a time when I yearned and yet dreaded to hear those words.  I loved you, too, but I could never… face who you were.
Bastila: Malak knew how I felt.  Any part of the light that was within me would be extinguished when I killed you.
Bastila: But what good is love?   It cannot save me from the sea of blackness I am drowning in.  I have betrayed everything that I ever believed in!  How can I atone for that?
Joric Baill: Help us defeat the Sith, Bastila.  This will atone for what you have done.
Bastila: Yes, I… could join you in your battle against the Dark Lord.  That alone would not make up for all I have done, yet… it would be a step in the right direction.
Bastila: But how would you be able to trust me?  How do you know I wouldn't turn on you when you faced Darth Malak?  How do you know the dark side wouldn't make me betray you again?
Joric Baill: I trust you enough to leave myself open to your attack, Bastila.
Bastila: You play a dangerous game.  Are you certain you wish to take this risk?  I could end your life and gain Malak's favor with a single stroke of my lightsaber.
Joric Baill: You won't, Bastila.  Because I love you and I believe in you.
Bastila: You are brave… and some would say foolish.  But you are also right.  The dark side has not wholly consumed me.  I cannot raise my blade against you.
Bastila: You will go on to defeat Malak, of this I have little doubt.  You will have gone from being the Sith Lord, himself, to the savior of our galaxy.
Bastila: And… you said you loved me.  This may not be the best time to say it, but…
Bastila: I love you, too.  With all my heart.
Joric Baill: You aren't afraid to love anymore?
Bastila: After this?  No, nothing could make me feel safer than to be loved by you.
Bastila: You should go.  Malak awaits.  This isn't over, yet… for any of us.
Bastila: I should stay here, though.  If we face Malak I am afraid his dark presence will overwhelm me.  It would not be wise to expose myself to such temptation.
Joric Baill: You could use your Battle Meditation to aid the Republic fleet.
Bastila: Yes, that would be for the best.  You don't need me to defeat Malak, anyway.  Now I understand that a true Jedi is a match for any Sith.  Even the Dark Lord himself.
Bastila: I will stay here in this chamber and use my Battle Meditation to aid the Republic fleet.  I am their only hope of destroying the Star Forge and ending the Sith meance.
Bastila: You must go and face Malak, but you have to hurry.  Once I turn the battle in the Republic's favor we won't have much time to escape the Star Forge before it is destroyed.
Bastila: Good luck, my love… and may the Force be with you.

You know that video game?  By the way, it has a sequel.

Of course, the only appropriate ending for this post...

May the Force be with you.

Currently Gaming Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords By LucasArts Entertainment see related

I am very bored.
I wonder who takes the time to make up these quizzes. 

Sometimes it feels like these apply to me, sometime I just laugh because they're bogus.

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The Return Home
from the Mission Field...

"Let me tell you a secret... life has gone on since you've been gone.  Not many people have heard what you have done here, so when you get back home you will have lots of stories to tell.  Some people will say, "good," but God will say, "Great!"" - Howard Earl, New Faith Church (Texas)

     I can't really explain to you the mission trip to Reynosa, Mexico.  Not really.  It was quite true what Pastor Peter said when we would compare our Christian faith from the point of view, "before Mexico" and, "after Mexico."  I feel like I have learned so much in a week, that it still hasn't all sunk in and totally digested.

     I have never really understood from the photographs I've looked through of Tyler Bennett's and Alex Montague's Costa Rica mission trip, or the photographs from Jansen or Kayla when they went just our senior year.  I didn't understand how a trip could change a person so much.  You won't understand all of my photographs either, sadly enough.

     Pictures will show much, and through them you will learn to see what I physically saw while there, but a camera has limitations.  Unless you were one of 'The 27', you can't really understand.  Because, frankly, you weren't there.  I didn't take any photographs of the closest memories I will cherish from the trip.  There are no photographs from small groups each night in the Luke dorm.  There are no photographs from when I untied George's shoelaces that binded the ladder to the van that delivered the beds and ladder we bought for the Mexican family.  There are no photographs from the games of chess that Andrew and Pelt and I played.  There are no photographs of the daily devotions I did in my bunk each morning around 7:15am.  There are no photographs of the conversations I had with Andrew, George, Cory, Lee, Pelt, Matt, Peter, Joel, Jeff, Goni, McMeans and Dave in our dorm (Matthew).  There is no photograph of how I felt when Evan Bell declared me as a "Godsighting" on Tuesday night.  There are no photographs of all of our group praying together as the family.  As I said, a camera can only capture so much.

    I have learned lessons about myself that I never saw before Mexico. 

     I'm still struggling to drench the pride in my life.  I had a discussion with Julie Abbot that not only answered so many questions I had about why I feel negatively at times; why we compare each other (even as Christians, even though we're commanded not to judge) aganist one another; the discussion also provided a totally different theory for me to look at Christian Spirituality.  I will share it with you if you ask me about it.  Andrew Bramblett and I discussed what is the best way to witness on the plane ride from Dallas to Columbus.

I have learned the most about love.

I hope that I don't forget these lessons...

This is 'The 27.'
A group of friends before the trip, a Family afterwards...

(left to right) Cory, Jenka, Brittany, Cassie

Mrs. Fix It, Julie Abbot

"The building of the walls"

(left to right) Joel, our family's children, Hannah, Chrissy, Gary the contractor, and Tamara

Matt Rowe.  36 Tootise Rolls.  You know what it looked like?
  It looked like a big long piece of ...

I took this picture so you could realize the desert poverty these people live in.  Dry, humid terrain.  No grass, no trees, no shade.

Lee and Pelt

Gary yelling at Site #2 about their roofing.

The love birds of the trip, Brittany and Cory
(Jenka and Holli in background)

Andrew, my brother, and Jose Alfredo

Yours truely!

The house across the street.  We played with the children there, and the squirt guns I brought and gave them so much fun an entertainment... I was so happy that was a great idea of my Mom, squirt guns.

USA | Mexico

Cassie, Cory, J.T., Chelsea, and Gary

Joel?, Rachael, Tamra, George, and the Mexican who we were building his house.

Holli and Jenka's attempt to calk the window and trip got messy.  Haha!

This is perhaps my favorite photo from the trip.  The mother (blue, far right) and father (middle, white t-shirt) and their three daughters (two with a child in their hands, one is almost hidden in this photogaph) (the girl in the yellow dress with flowers was the youngest) eat dinner with her daughters husbands and the entire family ate together as a family for over 1 hour and 20 minutes.  We dont do that anymore, sadly, in the USA.

Construction site #2 dedication.
Rhonda, Sam, Hannah, Rachel and Jenny, the family is in the center, George and Jeff and Joel behind them.  Matt, Goni, and Jose Alfredo, Chriss, Alex, and Andrew.

Very hot bus ride... 105°F.   No Problem.

A sunburnt Sam and Ashley

This is a funny picture.  Saturday morning when cleaning Jeff found this brown unidentified object on the floor.  It was sticky, and had hairs poking out of it.  Quite Gross, but funny at the same time.  Not gross enough it was 'nasty'.  Jeff comments, "Dude, this is like - the exact same color as the ceiling."  We tested it, just to be sure.  What makes this snapshot funny to me is you cant see where the object is and where the ceiling is.  Crazy!

Brother Andrew.  I know the picture is sideways.  I took it sideways.

Cone Mountain.  Saturday morning's santuary for Andrew, Jeff, and myself.  Peaceful quite, serene location.

Never forget.

Andrew and Forgotton among the Lillies, which I need to buy at Borders.  (Lee testing out a pillow, as Cassie had.)

My other favorite picture.  Goni and I wear the same plain, white, simple tshirts from Hanes (the Tagless ones) and he brought one for all of us to sign our names to.  We did, and he gave it to Jose Alfredo.  Jose started to cry when we gave it to him, and then we cried too.

Mexican culture is more family oriented than US, sadly.  Jose giving his brother a ride on his bike.  That's brother love.  That's love.

The road we walked down every day.  Again, the closeness of family in Mexican culture.  (brother and sister)

Hannah in white, and Matt.  Playing games with the children during VBS (Vacation Bible School)

Another photo I love.  This is the land where we taught VBS every day.

Notice the poverty.  No grass, no trees, no shade.  The playground was littered with broken glass, razor blades, and sharp pebbles.  Very sad.

One of my happiest memories.  Jose, Andrew, and I passing frisbee.  (Frisbee is gray, it's hard to see)

Jenka playing jump rope.

Sam, Cory, and Ashley.

Singing "Jesus Loves Me" in Spanish.  The lyrics are there on the posterboard, but difficult to see.  What a beautiful song, and to sing it in Spanish was just great.

Prayer time.

This is one of the saddest pictures.  This is the line of children waiting to get Gatoraid that we gave to them at the end of the day of VBS. 

Gatoraid.  (Rachel and Chrissy in yellow)

Friday, a happy moment.  This was the dedication service, where we officially gave the house to our Mexican family.  Notice the yellow sign we presented her.  George made it the night before, I watched him paint it.

"Que Dios bendiad esta casa"
or
"May God bless this house"

Our family. 

Friday afternoon we went to an Orphanage, which was in the utmost slum of the city.  Inside the concrete walls was not the orphanage you think of in the US, but a bright, cheerful place where there were murals on the walls, grass planted everywhere, and gigantic trees providing shade.  I loved this mural.

VBS time at the orphanage.  Pelt in the yellow.

Myself and Jim Weber.  He's Awesome.
I wanna be like Gumby...

The coolest superhero. ever.

Dallas.  This picture doesn't do the skyline justice.

Ditto.

Ditto x2.  Skyscrapers in Dallas were really cool from the plane, but these pictures just didn't come out the way I had hoped.

"I'm leaving,
on a jet plane.
Don't know when
I'll be back again..."

Leaving for Mexico, to go on a mission trip with my church. 
(we actually are going on a jet plane, haha)

I'm hoping this is going to be one of the most life changing, most spiritual trips.  I'm going to look at my Christian faith from two points of view: "before the Mexico trip" and "after the Mexico trip."  This will be the trip that set me on a spiritual level I've never been.

Remember back at the end of last June when we were getting ready to go on the IYC trip to Nashville?  I had finally got the trip paid for through fundraisers but I didn't have any money for general spending on the trip.  I got a letter in the mail two days before we left from a man at my church, Jerry Adams.  It had a check for some spending money.  I kept the letter and envelope, it's in my special wooden box... well, earlier this week in the mail, I got another letter, and another check; from Jerry...

J.T.

I can't let you go to Mexico without sending you something to take along.  After all that is a lot further than Nashville right?

Jerry Adams

There are still good people in this world, people who have amazing faith.

I shall return on the 23rd...

I have doubts and worries about the trip, even though I'm going.  You see, Hurricane Emily is coming to hit the southern part of Texas, right where I will be, right on the border of Mexico.  At Renosa, the city where I will be staying.  This worries me:

Pray that the hurricane wont disrupt my trip.  Pray for me.

"Dont Ask Me How I Know" by Bobby Piston 
(an appropriate song)

Don’t ride your bike off a ramp that’s more than three bricks high 
Don’t take that candy from the store if you ain’t got the dime 
Don’t pick a fight with a little guy that doesn’t talk that much 
Don’t pick up a cherrybomb thinkin’ it’s a dud 
And don’t sneak out of a 2 story house usin’ bed sheets for a rope 
Don’t ask me how I know 

[chorus]
Sell your truck while it’s still runnin’, save the Jesus off the dash 
Say a prayer when you feel like cussin’, save your money pay with cash 
Forget your pride, buy the roses, if you’re sorry tell her so 
Don’t drink the water in Mexico 
Don’t ask me how I know 

Don’t quit your high school football team halfway through the season 
Don’t bust your buddy in the nose when you know he didn’t mean it 
Don’t lose a girl you love at home for a night in Panama City 
Don’t rush off the phone when your Mama calls, you ain’t that busy 
Ya oughta make that drive to say goodbye to your grampa ‘fore he goes 
Don’t ask me how I know 

[chorus]

Forget your pride buy the roses, if you love her tell her so, 
Don’t go to Vegas with your heart broke, 
Don’t bum your cousin for that first smoke 
I'm tellin' ya, don't drink the water in Mexico 
Don't ask me how I know 
Don't ask me how I know 
I just know 
Sell your truck while it's still runnin'
Say a prayer when you feel like cussin' 
I know

Currently Reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6) By J.K. Rowling see related

Okay... I haven't talked about this in a really long time, and just tonight it's kind of resurfaced for a moment or two.  Then my brain thought of something stupidly random and I forgot about it.  Then I remembered it again, and I was like "mmm... xanga post."

The perfect girl - (noun) That one person who when they walk into the room you cant help but smile. it just happens so naturally that its automatic. She's intellegent and opinionated, and you honestly enjoy conversations with her. she's just a little bit of a flirt.  not too much, because I get jealous, but just the right amount. she has a pretty smile and eyes that melt my heart. you know she likes you too because when she talks to you she always looks you into the eye.  she's interested in some of the exact same things I'm interested in. we can talk about our favorite characters from the Harry Potter series (because, she's read every single one of them religiously too). we can talk about our dogs, whom both of us love. she enjoys watching a good movie.  sometimes at my house, her house, or at the movie theatre. she reads books for pleasure, enjoys to read just as I do. she has a great laugh.  you can tell it's not false or there's no hidden strings attached when she laughs. she has her own circle of friends, and I have mine, but we have mingles. I know some of the people she hangs out with, she knows some of mine.  Both of our circle of friends accepts the other's "signifigant other." she would be interested in watching the sunrise with me, even though I have to drag her ("come on, it's going to be so beautiful.  you can sleep later,") part of the way to get her to come.  she would be interested in watching the sunset, when she's more awake, and just slightly -- just barely holding hands.  not tight, just enough that each of us knows the other is there. When we do hold hands - she squeezes my hand to let me know a signal, or when she wants my attention for a moment. we can sit in the room in total silence and it not be ackward. we can talk on the phone and for minutes not say anything and it not be ackward. she has a great family, truly loving -- caring people. her family likes me, mine adores her. she likes to eat well, dine with me. she insists on paying sometimes, and after the first date and we get comfortable with each other, I let her. She can be very random and say, "Come on!  Hurry!" and she runs with me in tow half a step behind her, holding her hand. she can laugh at herself, and she can tease me and I laugh.  then we laugh together because I was laughing. she teases me all the time about Everything you could possibly imagine -- but deep down I really love it. she doesn't use profanity, because like me she knows that whatever you need to say, you dont have to use a cuss word to get your point across. she'll get frustrated and that's when she's even cuter.  when she's mad. when she gets mad i'll slide my arms around her and kiss her on her forehead, and she'll wiggle like she doesn't like it, even though I know she really did. she's got to be ticklish, and she's got to tickle me back. she'd be okay watching what she calls "a boy movie" which is either Star Wars or Lord of the Rings or we'll watch a good action movie with gunfights, swordfights, or explosions.  or all of them (those are the best movies cough cough). she knows that when she wants to see "a stupid chick flick" as I call them, that I really want to go, because I want to be with her even though I'm going to give her a really really hard time about it. she'll go to church with me, and we can both talk to each other during the sermon, but when the other person's talking we can be like "shhhhhh. we're in church. you're suppost to be quiet." and it's all the other person can do but laugh till their side hurts. when you are with her, that perfect girl, sometimes your side does hurt from laughing. she knows that a kiss is important, and it means something. for one reason or another -- I can never really decide, you and the perfect girl dont kiss as much as your other exgirlfriends, but when you do kiss -- every other single thing in the world fades except for her. when your lips part, it's like sometime turns the dimmed lights back up and the world restores. each time we kiss, I always think in the back of my mind "wow it doesnt get any better than this" then you kiss again and I was like "okay it's getting better each time". she was raised in church too and has similar values, morals, and a strong sense of right and wrong. when I make a reference to the bible she doesn't look at me with the "huh?" look because she knows what I mean. she's read the bible before.  the whole thing. cover to cover. she prays. she knows that prayer is important.  when something is really wrong, she'll tell me "I'll pray about that." and I know she really will, she's not just saying it. she absolutely loves to take pictures. she knows that those photographic-memories can last a long time. we can have snowball fights in the snow and really pack the snowballs to make them hard, but if we hit one another too hard we always stop and check and hold the other person - just to make sure they're okay. we've made our footprints in the snow on a walk, made snow angels after walking, and jumped in my house to warm up and drink some hot chocolate. she loves my dog to pieces, and Ginger loves her too. we'll have photographs of us not just in my wallet and her purse, but hanging up on the wall in our bedrooms.  We've been together so long, we have a frame of a collage (two of the exact same collage, because we made them together with scissors and glue and a lot of laughing at each other when making them -- they were doubles from all the photographs.) she teases me that when I draw that "it's terrible", even though I know she's just kidding. she keeps asking me to draw Her for once, even though I tell Her each time "I could never draw you, you're simply too beautiful.  I'd mess it up." but that answer never satisfies her.  when she gets frustrated, her hands ball up in fists a little bit and she goes "grrrrrrrrrr!" Sometimes, instead of going out all the time, we can just stay at her house and watch tv and me have my arm streched out around her.  she laughs when I change the channel right at the good part of whatever we are watching. we playfully fight over the remote. when she cries, I hold her in my arms. when I cry, she tells me that it's going to be okay and that she loves me. when we get off the phone each time, we dont have to use that old phrase "i love you" because, she knows i love her. she wears perfume, or she uses some special shampoo because she Always smells so good and her hair is so good-smelling that it intoxicates my very thoughts. when she gets tired, she'll kind of slump down next to me and rest her head on my chest, near my heart.  I'll strech my arm around her and have my hand cover hers, and intertwine our fingers.   We don't have to hang out all the time, each of us needs some time by ourselves.  Down time.  We're both cool with that.  She doesnt even have to call me everday.  We can have a day pass - or two and not talk and it's okay.  She doesn't have to dress up to look beautiful every time we go out.  When she's lazy, she can be in comfortable clothes - not wear any makeup and still be beautiful.

and i'll love her, and she will love me.

That's what I want.